LIFe'S a SwiRRL

2010-02-27T00:53:00.002+08:00

I'm glad that you asked me for lunch today, though i became confused after that coz you walked off the other way.. Was it sincerely asking me for lunch or randomly spewing out a qns just for the sake of asking that qns.. ??

I chose the seat first, you could have sat beside 'Deborah' but you chose to sit beside me instead.. Was it just plain normal circumstances for you, fated or pure coincidence for us?

I'm starting to able to predict the colour of your outfit each day somehow, I sort of have the sense but weirdly, it does come true the very next day. Are our minds linked without us realising it somehow?? I truly wonder.

I dreamt that you were driving a car once, and few months later you told me you have a driving license actually. How coincidence is that?

Well, know something. - after the movie "Dear John" - I felt like I kinda miss your presence. OMG. Am I like.. . . falling for you??

This can't be happening. It's complicated. I'm holding myself back and I think you are too. Sigh

2010-02-23T22:21:00.004+08:00

Yesterday was a nice sweet surprise.

You said you weren't coming, so what made you changed your mind?

But of course, I maintained my cool and give away any signs tt I'm loving the moments.

But I thk it's you who's moving closer to me.

Like when u stood behind me, when you could stand behind others.

Like when you could walk beside others, but you walked beside me instead.

Like when you stood infront of me and look at me, when you could that instead to others.

Like the way when I chase you away, you acted "dejected and wanted to go home" but of course, it was all an act of cheekiness on ur part.

Sometimes, I get frustrated with you, sometimes I'm loving the funny, sweet, lame moments we had. The "insider jokes between us"...

Guess it's a "love-hate" kinda thingy.

Ok, Ms PauChai I'm soo sorry I dropped ur hp today. (still feeling guilty abt it) hee.. :(

Nway, I really wonder.. have you no one yet in your life???

This Q still lingers in my mind somewhere somehow..

2010-02-03T00:02:00.002+08:00

Can't get to see u much these few days. Coz of HYPA. But I don't mind. Work comes first. Issit true of the rumours ppl say about u? If it is, ouhh heartbroken me.
Glad that we wore the different tones of the same kinda colour option.. we rarely wear bright colours. amazing!
Could that be the signal..?
LOL as long as u haven't "wake up".. I can't do much.. Seriously, I can do only soo much yet the results will still be the same. Ok wateva. I can't be bothered. Work is more impt to me rite nw.
Hoping to see the bright light at the end of the road soon.

Glad we chatted at least, aftr nt seeing each other the whole day.

2010-01-30T22:47:00.003+08:00

I am wishing for those days during the camp. We were pretty close and chummy, so what happen?

You used come and find me and chat but now.. it's more of hi-bye, a smile here and there.
The jokes we shared, the lameness you had which made me laugh, all these warms my heart. The 3 days spent during the camp, getting to know you better as a closer friend made my 3 days so fruitful and happy.

I dun dare to say much to you these days. I dunno. Things have changed I guessed. Don't pretend like you dunno watz happening.. I'm sure you've heard, I'm sure you can sense.
Sigh. If I could only tell you that much...

But i guess I'm at fault too. My actions towards you when you come over and find me to talk to, I just roll my eyes at times and sometimes even shoo-ing you off as I'm busy.
Just wanna let you know so much so that I don't ever wanna lose you as a close friend.
It seems like we do have some affinity. But issit you? Or someone else>?

2010-01-27T00:42:00.002+08:00

Dumb girl.
If you think writing in a blog doesn't get the Trs seeing what u write. Think twice. Dumb girl.
Win liao la even spell actual names. Didn't experience taught u to use pseusodynms or nicknames. .? (if your english isn't that good) How unaware u are. Oh no wonder I'm the T and u're the S. See.. S=ASS? Get it? Dumb.

Ohh wow, suddenly u inspired me to blog again. I'm very inconsistent in blogging. Can be a few mths den i blog. Wow! Should I thank you for the inspiration or anger in me or what..??

Shootz. Feeling emo. Oh well. Just wanna look forward to seeing his face and hearing the voice again. Reassures me always and that smile. A melt-in-my heart kinda smile.
Wth Ninie. U're not supposed to be liking him but den more n more each day, u find urself drawn towards him.. wATz tis?! lol

2009-06-21T03:53:00.003+08:00

Hmm been so long again since I blogged. WEll I guess tonite would suddenly seemed like the perfect nite to type something here. MAny random thoughts filled my mind these past few months..

Life's been soo much better ever since the brkup. No more living in denial.. It's been 9 monthsplus I've healed and moved on. Great! I guess everything did happen for a reason.. Well I realised that as the time passes.. that I was missing out on soo many good stuff.. Imagine what if I had settled down.. I guess it wasn't really the right time for me and it was in a way or so, a bad situation to show me that I was missing out on the good things in life.. There was just soo many stuff to me do, achieve, soo many new peeps to meet and greet in life..

Ohh trust me, singlehood has been better than this.. 3 yrs outta the dating field.. and now back in again.. I feel soo WOW!.. Been missing on the hot guys alot.. hahaaha... Well, now single and swinging life has never been this great.. The guys I meet .. great.. but of course Im picky so only the worthwhile stays on my list hahaha..

Hmm.. wassup with me suddenly getting interested no longer in the local dating scene..??
Well apparently I didnt see this coming 6 mths back.. like hello to a foreigner "wai guo ren" and POOF! outta now where, came along a super cute Swiss guy.. hahaha
Well, I guess for now.. we are both hooked to each other... all those late nite online video chatting is definitely contagious! LOL
Hmm.. would something else happen.. have to see in mths to come.. or should I sayy next year.. LOL..I would wanna meet him in person.. I'm sure he looks soo much better! U betcha..
I mean seriously where was he the past few years!!?? He's really soo my type.. and ahakz.. the way we connect ohh just amazing.. just that he's of different nationality and religion.. but well if love were to happen, I'm sure it would be strong enuf to counter-act all that "barriers and obstacles" right???

Hmm.. never did I expect there would be a white guy soo similar to my personality.. NEVER!!
But WOW.. I'm truly amazed.. at the chemistry online... In reality.?? Hmm.. for the future to be said. WEll i believe we met for a reason, but what's the reason I've yet to knoe.. Ohh dannggg.. fate is always teasing us.. hahaha..

That's all for now I guess.. had a truly great time with my galfrenz just now.. And to start blogging again.. I guess I'm fully healed and moved on~ Thank goodness.. Oh I just love life now..!

2008-10-09T14:50:00.003+08:00

tired from doing so much. watz e' point..

i really take my hat off tat person.. so clever and smart of her to manipulate with the entitlement and benefit of getting some time off from work for some personal (i'm sure unimportant) matters of hers.

supposedly 4 hrs.. tup tup.. it became 6hrs.. and she could take 2 hrs extra but claimed as 4hrs only instead 6.. wat a smart chick!

im pissed at the fact such a person exists to live well in this world.. OHH WHYYY somtimes there is not karma onto such hypocrites and bad eggs but on sum other poor soul..?
i've seen innocent ppl get worst off in their lives e.g. like the poor becomes poorer and the rich becomes more cunning as they get richer.. why like tat.. why is life so unfair..? those ppl who have suffered - isnt it enuf for them? and the rich.. nt rich enuf ke?

im feeling moody whole day.. coz tat incumbent is going away for about 1 and a half weeks ..and check this out : I HAVE TO "COVER" her work.. in the first place, we're not even of the same rank and scheme.. im just a wat.. she's a wat.. wat rite do i have to carry out her duties.. hah.. im nt in the position seyyy.. salary pun bukannye same.. wth.. they shd seriously pecat her contract and take in a new M..O one tat can work nt like tat fella.. pandai enjoy la she's the "perfect epitome" of a C-S who has very little work to do and shows others out there how the C-S prefer employees of her type.. oh ya rite, isnt it contradictory to wateva the C-S core values and ethical code of conduct..

2008-10-08T11:30:00.002+08:00

here i am again.. blogging.. maybe nw i can blog more often ya.. depends on my mood..

been hectic.. been busy with so many commitments.. wat kind of commitments? nahh.. im nt telling.. it's personal.. sorrie!

i've learnt many new things and values in life as i grow older.. things values which even sumtimes my own parents can't/ didn't teach me.. these things one learnt through experiences in life.. through the ups and downs of life.. some ppl have so much downs in their life, they give up eventually .. some don't - they picked themselves up many times and each time they gained strength.. im the latter.. i believe one shd nvr give up no matter hw hard the trying is..

hmm.. i'll like to add smth to tat : oh ya, thanks to a human who has nth better to do but to blog abt me...?? well, my name was in her blog so i guess i have to thank her rite?? for wat? for making me an "overnight star".. thanks ya for giving me an opportunity to have like a few seconds of fame and notoriety..

hah.. now im famous i guess wif multipliers.. famous for the wrg reasons ya.. oh who cares.. my conscience is clear.. if i wanna officially and frankly say : there are few multipliers too whom I don like.. but am i gonna say their names like they did..??? forget it watz the use.. all tat bitching can only make one insane.. really insane i tell u.. hahaa..

to these ppl: thanks for making others' lives miserable but if u think it's working, nahh it isnt..
coz ppl like me rather NOT fall for the "traps set".. haha happy strategizing ya..
the more u try to make me fall, the more i'll persevere on to show u tat im not dumb and stupid like u to fall for such tricks.. the more i'll show tat i AM happy.. ohh do i hear paper tearing..?? does me being happy make u unhappy?? hah..

2008-08-27T13:10:00.004+08:00

Private Affairs
Hate to say this.. all along I have been keeping rather quiet about things tat happen to me in my life along the way.. private stuff i mean.. and i really mean private affairs.. i'm not the sort to babble and "wash dirty linen in public" (like some ppl do abt their family probs la relative's probs la.. frens probs la.. sume hal2 yg tak ade kene mengene wif them sorry eh kalo terrase but im speaking on a general note here) i really hate such ppl.. dun go ard pretending and relating all ur sorrows to unknown strangers..

Private Affairs 2
Unknown strangers in this sense are strangers who know nuts abt the actual event or incidences which happened to "their so-called friends" no head no tail.. yet pandai2 je eh nak kasi comment la, kasi advice la.. the ppl who lament their "sob stories" to such strangers - i 've got no respect for them.. nak cari and mintak simpati ke pe?? ohh i rem this question/phrase very well.. FOR ME PERSONALLY, i dun care..i mean.. why shd i in the first place mintak others' kasihan/pity abt wat?? the probs in my life.. ? ya rite give me a million bucks and i tell u why...duh~ i dun owe others a living seyy.. the only ppl i genuinely care for in this world are my loved ones.. and i mean my parents who brought me up painstakingly..
Such ppl who suka lament2 byk2 ehhh, best thing to do : get a life lah and get urself admitted into IMH (institute of mental health).. and ppl who like to pity such bloggers yg lament2 abt nth but sadness in life - get a,life oso, u soo free eh?

Malaysia's Messy Political Situation = Rojak?
i like to comment on another case of stupidity and manipulation i think in my opinion.. a case which has gone so overboard too far-fetched i guess.. ? nwae, blogging is freedom of speech as long there are boundaries rite.. > in the recent case of Anuar and that boy Saiful (I think he just lurve the fame ya).. come on laa guys, mature up.. nak sumpah kat Qu'ran.. ye btul.. sumpah tak boleh main2 tau.. ade balaknye nanti.. but these ppl treat the Qu'ran like a "piece of toy" gitu.. senang je nak angkat sumpah depan the holy book.. it doesn't seem like a holy book anymore from my point of observation of the whole scenario.. malaysia's political situation : what has become of it? one man trying to swallow the other man.. ha..

2008-06-30T14:03:00.002+08:00

Have not been blogging though I seriously told myself to do so.
Been super busy that is.
Meet-the-people sessions with the MP. Volunteer work. RC meetings. Grassroots leaders conferences. UniSIM's conferences with the Minister for Transport. wat else.. there's just so many events and activities on my agenda.

Am I breaking down? yes. I nearly did. But I'm hanging on until now.
The pillar of strength in my life, the one whom I really depend on when I have my ups and downs. The one whom I seek comfort with when I have sorrowful and moody days.
The one whom I thought of as my life, my hope, my guardian angel has sort of left me hanging by a thin piece of thread. Imagine a "cliff-hanger". yes. That's what I am feeling now.
Upset. Lonely. Uncertain. Suddenly I feel so lost without him by my side.
Have I been too hard and harsh on him?
It's been 3 days since we last contacted.
IF this is the way things are meant to be or worst still - to end. I'm not willing to accept the fact.
But fate indeed plays a cruel part in turning dreams into reality ya.
Must I go through the heartache again..?
Must history repeats itself again..?

I hate to say this but love hurts.
I'm a cynic right now. Blinded by angst and fury. Fueled by the things happening around me.
Blinded by what today's society is showing to me.
Angst? Pain? Fury? Mention all and I'll show the meanings of these words for I am right now, sinking deeper into misery and the holes of darkness.
I can only see blackness ahead of me.
I need that strong pair of hands, the same pair of hands to pull me out of the deepest dungeon that I've fallen into.

2007-06-24T22:32:00.001+08:00

moi big fat foot all bandaged up.. oucH!

2007-06-24T22:02:00.001+08:00

ooh ive nt been blogging regularly.. wat to do.. blame tat on my hectic schedule.. poor tyme mgmt.. hehe oh well.. lotsa stuff had happened to me lately.. undergone an op on my foot.. which sux coz i couldnt move much during the first 2 weeks! i juz kept bumpin into stuff.. on a wheelchair, i do feel clumsy and helpless at tymes... everythg seemed frustrating to me when i couldnt get it done on my own like bathing, pickin up stuff tat fell outta my grasp.. luckily fer me, support came in the form of my family and my guy.. And b4 i forget.. B4 tis dae ends, I would lyke to once again wish my baby boy a wonderfully Happy Birthday dear..ur sacrifices seemed worthwhile and I promise to be there for u as well alwaz. Hope u lyke the gift that i got u.. May wateva wishes come true for u dear..

2007-01-18T13:34:00.000+08:00

13th January 2006

A dae which i will neva eva forget..
A dae that my heart sort of shattered..
The dae my beloved granny passed on..
The dae that i arrive too late a few minutes after she went away..
I neva had the final chance to sae eva bid gudbye to her nor wil she eva of
the wrds "I luv u ah ma" that i whispered into her ears that nyte..
The feelings are undescribable..
I truly treasure the tymes i spent wif my dearez granny..
I miz her so much.. the laughter.. the twinkle in her eyes, the wae she behave at tymes is juz soo childlike.. that i adore n dote on her..
Though ive stopped shedding anymore tears fer her since the wake & funeral.. my heart mind & soul will alwaz have a piece of her sumhw..

2006-06-28T13:57:00.000+08:00

Werk has been relli tiring me out.. tat my health's been sufferin.. ehehe.. got tummy cramps n gastric pains frequently.. baru je yestd i vomitted a few tymes n i felt lyke wanna faint suddenly.. luckily my dear hubby cancel his ot last min n brought me to see the doc @ 12am.. jus imagine tat.. aww.. i feel so lurved.. he's sucha a gud hubby whu takes care of me his darlin baby gal relli well.. sumtymes i feel kinda bad after we quarrel, n i showd my temper n vent my frustrations on him..neva once he raised his voice at all at me.. am i bein too demandin n taking him fer granted..?? the more each dae i thk of him.. the more im soo in lurve wif him.. i hope nth comes betwn us.. realli afraid of losing him one dae..realli afraid tat the spark tat was once in the rship mite juz fade away.. juz lyke i c most in my fren's rships.. i truly lurve tis guy dun ask me y.. he's e' 1st guy unlyke the other guys .. whu made me truly lurved n special bein by his side.. he's e' 1st guy whu made me laff, cried.. broke my heart once.. mend it twice.. e' 1st to meet my parents.. 1st guy whu found out abt my strengths n weaknesses.. evrythg abt his sayang he noez.. i shd make an effort den to noe my hubby betta..

2006-04-13T13:07:00.001+08:00

aww so swit rite. ?

....missing u as each dae passes...

wish u were by my side.
miss ur smile, ur frown, ur jokes, ur blurness...

ur touch.ur kiss.ur hug.
juz everythg abt u makes me blush.
thinkin of u moi dearie dae & nite.

but oni u don noe ..
of the heartache i felt....
each tyme we mizunderstood one another. we often did~

2006-01-06T12:38:00.002+08:00

How I MET MY OTHER HALF

my gawd.. ive nt been bloggin fer a loonnngg tyme.. haha been rather bz fer the past yr lately.. esp wit my new job transfer.. im a HICS 2 (also known as Staff Sgt back in the SPF) in the ICA dept.. hehe.. my job .. easy peasy.. DUTY OFFICER job OR chckin of all sorts of vehicles lookin out fer contrabands and profiling/investigating suspected illegal workers.. kewl. n yea i oso hav a warrant 2 do tat. tis yr is a tuff yr mayb.. wat a a heavy responsibility.. well.. wat to do.. its my job..
haha.. oh well life's been pretty good i wd hav to admit.. got a good job, get a good pay.. wat else.. family's been gud too alhamdullilah~ n yea got attached yep in 2005. his name is juff. 22yrs. met him sumwher bwten ard Oct - Nov 05
standing @ 1.8m (hah.. im short!). n he's quite a cute guy i thk..hahaha
nasib baik we stay ard the west area.. tak jauh kalo nak jumpa.. hehe
well i met my dearie in an unusual situation i wd thk.. we wd alwaz c each other at the same point @ wrk.. but i duno y often he wd just look at me wit disgust i wd sae.. i mean ttz wat i see frm his look. while the other guys wd all tok to me.. tryin to get to noe me.. but of coz i wasnt interstd.. i had my interst in tat guy whu sort of "alienated" me frm him.. watz up wit him at 1st i tot so.. he's soo cold. later on i found out frm my galpal he wanted to get to noe me! but he was too shy.. coz he thks tt i was most probly attached to sumone else.. wat a letdown hehe..
gosh.. i was sOO hapy.. huh.. cant believe it sia.. he got my no. we started smsin & callin each other b4 we decided to start hanging out more often wit each other.. or shd i sae datin? oh well.. dere were no sparks firewrks wateva.. ttz.. nth but i felt good being wit him.. cosy!
hahaha.. fussy me. im happy now.. bery much.. though juff's alwaz gettin on my nerves.. lately esp. hehe.. wateva it is i still lurve him to bits.. & he alwaz reassures me tt he oni lurves me & his dearez mommy n no other gals.. hehe. though our work shift schedules alwaz clash he's in team charlie whereas im in delta.. so we oni get to mt on nite shifts.. otherwise i juz hope nth else gets in our wae.. haha coz he suits most of my criteria for a bf..well at least ttz wat i see.. when im sick he's alwaz lookin aftr me.. hehe.. makin sure i go doc, eat my med.. n get well fast. whn anythg hapens to me, he gets worried.. hehe.. guess its a torture fer him to be wif me.. but its a blessing fer me instead.. hahaha.. all i hav to sae is : im in lurve.

2005-05-22T18:34:00.000+08:00

woah!!! soo many months nv blog oredi.. haiz.. been buzy wit work.. n yea i finally finishd my studies.. got a full cert!! hahaaha.. next step.. find a job (though im workin currently lahz) but nt any kinda jobs.. in career wit the police force would be nice.. haha yea.. yum yumm.. waitin for the chance to don that smart uniform.. oh boy.. goody goody.. n yea, over these months.. ive become more crappy, more cranky..more cheeky.. n more wat huh??.. erm.. oh well..juz soo hyped up.. enjoying moi eva single life ouch! hahaha. to aliah whu post A qnS to me: sorie didnt tag ya back.. me wrkin at JurongPort Pte Ltd.. a shipyard.. cool getta see all those vessels n containers comin in.. but shucks.. no cute guys around... haiz! hahaha

2004-10-20T13:03:00.000+08:00

well..well..well.. itz been dayz.. haha since like mths tat i log into blogger & type sum stuff.. been pretty bz muggin 4 da As.. final lap..MUZ gET 3As 2AOs! wat else.. hehe.. yea while fastin.. havin 2 wake up at 4am 2 eat.. wait, b4 tat i normally slp at 3am.. tat's like oni an hr of slp?? no wunder i hav been gettin eyebags.. so tired.. oh well.. nwae.. feel like changin da stupid blog layout of mine for smth cooler.. but like no time.. pretty tedious for an internet junkie yet "idiot" like me.. oh guess i'll try see wat comes out of it.. for u guys whu frequently see my blog.. do gif comments ya.. hehe.. if i change my layout tat is.. tis is 2 all my malay-muslim peepz - "selamat berpuasa"!

2004-10-05T10:18:00.000+08:00

" let's tok tis over.. itz nt like we're dead.. was it smth i did..or was it smth u said?.. ur frens, dey duno me.. but dey act dey do.. held up so high, n i'm an unbreakable threat.." hehe.. feelin soo super darn sleepy.. tired oso.. like tat 2 look nice on fridae.. when ive been missin out on my beauty slp.. damn! wateva.. feelin angsty as well.. nt those rock punk chick sorta though.. guess wat i took da plunge n was game enuff 2 cut my long hair short & abit spunky.. but nw prob is i dun0 how 2 style my hair.. hiakz..hiakz.. oh whu cares.. itz nt even prom! & every1's soo hyped abt it.. come on.. tt sux la.. gtg nw.. got econs lesson.. muZ g0! hehe.. signin off~ peace~!

2004-10-04T10:13:00.000+08:00

oh well.. prelims over.. yea.. but im soo disappointed wit my results.. put in much effort but i still flopped.. n watz worst i flopped gp for da 1st time! its a major exam somemore sey! hw come can do soo badly.. sheesh.. niwae.. i oni manage a mere 1 A 2 AOs.. need another A lev pass.. tt makes it 2 As n to pass GP.. so tt makes it 3 AOs.. yepz.. can go into PA oredi.. haha.. direct sergeant entry .. which needs gd A levs passes wit 2 As 2 AOs.. hehe.. feelin edgy abit tis week.. lookin 4ward 2 da graduation dae.. tis comin fridae.. ooh.. still haven get everythg yet 4 my get-up.. but gonna cut my hair 2dae i guess at Jantzen or Jean Yip..probly.. which is betta? hmm.. i normaly go Kimage.. haiyah.. leceh siakz! hehe.. oh well.. goin for smth short n spunky.. da weather's oso pretty hot! whew.. signin off~

2004-09-17T13:07:00.000+08:00

todae is da dae i set free ... from all da past sleepless nitez i have had so far.. tis will be da dae i take my last paper for prelims.. though it is nt da end of everythg but a mere beginning to an unthinkable "journey".. would it be easy after everythg has truly pass me by? not sure.. da ans is i will have to wait & see.. as for results wise.. i'm just countin my numbered days.. 2 weeks from nw i will have my mock exams thereafter it will den be da real thingy! scary but damn true.. face up da facts.. it will oni be ard 1 mth's time.. gonna push myself really hard, get da cert i wan & get da hell outta sch.. hehe.. prelims i dun thk i did so well.. in fact a few hiccups here n there which i'm gonna avoid repeatin back durin da As.. juz hope i get 2 A lev passes for both mgmt & hist (which is da ppr i'll be takin in an hr's time 2dae) ... n of coz an AO pass in GP .. at least a C5 (which is wat ive been gettin..damn).. or a B4.. hehe.. gud enuff.. econs i dun thk i got hope.. i screweed up my essay segment.. howz MCQ & DRQ & Case Study gonna help me?? not much i guess... hehehe.. signin off~

2004-09-13T11:34:00.000+08:00

2dae i feel soo super shitty wit myself.. damn disappointed wit me myself n i.. y? coz i put in alot of efforts into studyin soo much.. damn! i knew da answers to da paper juz nw.. btw it was mgmt of biz paper 2 tt i sat for .. but whYYYY must da elbow cramp come on suddenly when i semangat wanna write alot.. ok, i admit time mgmt wasnt dere as well.. see lahz.. when i noe da answers.. cant complete da paper on time.. left out an 8 mks & 3 mks qns.. howz tat.. surely teruk case of marks i'll get.. haikz.. nvm.. i'll geared up for paper 1 man.. nv felt soo tensed up ..nt even like O levels time. tis is worst!.. couldnt sleep da whole nite yestd.. hehe.. oh well.. wat can i sae.. damn!

2004-09-03T15:06:00.000+08:00

hmm.. 125 peepz hav seen my blog.. i wunder whu sey.. hey u guys whueva whu sees my blog yah.. yea u?! at least write a comment or smth so at least i noe uve been to tis blog of mine.. wateva la.. u all dun wan, cant force u 2 withdraw ur anonymity rite.. hehehe.. niwae.. been rather long since i put in an entry.. let'z see huh.. cant wait for my graduation ceremony actually, coz after tt can stay hm study... dun need to come 2 sch.. but i thk i'll still come anyway.. contradictory rite.. hahaha.. feelin outta sorts lately.. hmm.. disillusioned by all da stupid crap r'ships thingy my frens are goin thru.. haiz.. seems like guys r still jerks after all.. y nt all gals start turnin les?.. muahahaha.. watz da use of gettin together den brkin da other party's or each other's hearts.. sey! ttz wat u call love?? fark la! people!! wherz da lurve sey??!.. wat happen 2 all those 1st time u met u like each other..impressions sort? all gone i guess.. haha, blame it on "losing tt lurvin feelin towards ur partner" heh.. oh but can start lurvin another at da same time.. woaH.. how wunderful eh..n0w is i dun lurve, i dun hate but im juz closin doors on any potentials.. y? coz i dun wanna go down da same path as my frens did.. suffer for wat .. yea it gets to u if ure single .. so wat?! im single, livin life as it is, im lurvin it & ttz wat i wanna be, how i wan it to be.. yeah!..

2004-08-13T14:01:00.000+08:00

haikz.. trying to be like wat my fren wanted me 2 try out.. writing without inspiration (to me tt is..).. writing when u dun feel like writing... i've been rather down lately.. wat 2 do.. body achin & definitely down in da dumps.. but mind & soul feelin even worst still.. mind occupied wit plenty of stuff 2 do for da weekend .. tt includes revision & hmwrk.. soul too occupied wit lamentin at da state i'm currently in rite nw.. soo tired.. wish i could rest, fall asleep & nv to wake up again.. oni 19 but soo tired out by things i do in life.. issit? i duno.. wat crap am i tokin? i'm nt sure myself.. eugh.. y muz tt sum1 lost da hp.. farnie.. oh well. heck.. to me, fate's playin a game wit destiny & we're da "pawns" in tis game.. wateva it is.. i'll see how.. ttz all for now i guess.. & to Moiz.. hehe dun sae i nv update moi blog my fren.. howz tis for a person like me whu has no "jiwang-ness" in her at da moment???.. juz writing wateva tots tt comes into my mind at da instance..hehe.. well.. i'm off~

2004-07-21T15:16:00.000+08:00

I've decided 2 write in an entry after seein my blog nt being updated quite long oredi.. Hmm.. I've been feelin down.. I noe I looked tired but yea inside of me is even more tired out.. I've somehow stop worryin much.. but I still looked weary.. Thanks Ina for da tot of writin me sum motivation..hehe.. & yea da lollipop's soo nicey.. hehe.. Well.. If it's meant 2 be.. it will be rite.. I juz happen 2 like him.. but like wat u guys advice me.. I'm nt hopin for anythg.. I noe myself betta.. & I can read my inner soul betta..Though how I wish it wd hav been nice if he knew abt me earlier.. hehe wat crap am I thkin? I thk my tots are abit "rojak" nw..sowie.. I mean.. wat wd happen if he knows I hav smth goin on for him.. wd he shun me? avoid me nt tok to me? wd he be angry? wd he dislike me.. for I may nt be of a certain standard or criteria of an ideal gal to him?? or wd it be all of da opposite.. tt wat i'm hopin for.. for him 2 accept me for whu I am.. nt wat am I, how I look dress tok wateva..?? will it be easy for me? or will it turn out to be somewhat of a rocky road ahead.. wateva it is.. I'll let time decide.. I'll take things as it comes onto me.. slowly..bit by bit..ish.. I'm juz being in a wishful thkin mode nw.. shoot.. sum1 shoot me.. hate myself for feelin tis wae.. for ur info, whuz da person.. it's sum1 oni my closest peepz will noe of.. yea u guys noe abt it.. for those whu dun.. i'll gif u "helpful" clue: He's fair & stands at 175cm. go figure it out.. hahaha..

2004-07-01T09:16:00.000+08:00

aikZ.. guEss i'LL hav t0 sTop bLoggIn.. peEPz iF uRE reADinG tiZ sh0RT buT importaNT mSg - taKE n0te: fr0M 7tH jULy onWARdS mOi inTernET aCCEss aT h0mE wiLL bE cuT oFF! s0 n0 moRE surfinG, checkInG oF maIL & frieNDsTR acc0unTs anym0RE.. soBz* soBZ*.. WELl thankS aLOT dAD~.. hE's worriED thESE aRE diStracTIons & obSTacLes 2 doiN weLl foR mY As.. heLLo.. i"m oREDi n0t doinG wELL ahakzz.. ahakzz.. niWAe.. I'M gLad derE's stiLL DA SMS! hP's aLiVE!.. hahaha.. s0 guESS TAT'z DA enD oF tiZ finAL enTRY oF miNe.. t0 aLl pEEPz wHu haV BeeN readInG mY entriES .. thankS s00 muCh 4 suppoRTinG mE yEAh.. takE caRE & g00D LucK 4 Ur upcomIng A leveLs.. ciaO~!

2004-06-28T01:17:00.000+08:00

Tat'z me & moi Lil' sisTa..bIggA siSta nt ard 2 taKe tiS fot0.. weLL, aren't we so00 compatibLe?? ahakz*ahakz* g0sH! duN thK i'm Lesb0 la peepz..got 2 guyS standinG eacH oF uS bUT i cuT deM oFF (soriE yaH LiN~ hehe).. s0mEhoW i LurvE tis piC as iT waS takEn duRinG dA pre-U 3 reTreAT in MarcH 2004.. aWW, aLL thoSE romanTiC liGHTs diM & aLL.. maKEs iT s00 encHantinG coupLed wiT aLL ouR gorGeous ouTfiTS hehe.. Like a trUe bALLr0om exPerienCE aLas..it wasnT hehehe.. WisH sum1 wAS derE wiT me tt tImE 2 taKe a sTroLL .. Da place waS reALli niCE~

2004-06-27T01:36:00.000+08:00

Okie..so FAr i'm soo LaggiN stILL.. hav oni manage 2 covER 1/3 oF RussIan Rev. 2/3 of FrenCh REv. 1/2 of OriGins of WW1. 1/3 of EurOpeAn NationALism (iTaLiAn & GerMan UniFicaTion).. shoot.. sTilL alOT m0RE 2 go.. WanNa stiLL stuDY 4 eConS ..haha.. dIe-iN of NaturAL DEatH i gUess.. HaIz.. Wat eLse caN I be d0in erM.. WELL i'm gLad i'VE got my bLog a weBcounTER & i'm AbLe 2 poST PhoTOS in my BLogpoSTs.. thankS 2 HaN's ideA.. hehehe.. & fiddY's bloG paGe - ttZ whER i gOT "insPiRED" 2 geT a weBcountER.. hehee.. ThanKS guyS if u aLL rEAD thiS..~

2004-06-27T01:10:00.000+08:00

I seriousLY mIss MoI SiStaZ!!.. WondER wAT dEY're Up 2.. Or h0w deY're RiTe n0w.. BuT itZ onI a DaE aWaY 2 sEEin DeM agAin.. hehehe

2004-06-26T01:13:00.000+08:00

Another dae has passed so quickly..anxiety of facing da exams is coming upon me.. Left actually a dae more 2 D-Dae.. & it's gonna Be History 4 me on da 1st dae of examinations.. As in History subject nt me being History.. Quite prepared for it though I only scared I panic at da last min due 2 pressure of peepz ard me writing soo much soo like dey realli noe their stuff.. hehe.. I must nt panic.. and breakdown hehe.. I wun.. it's only da mid-yrs.. But thkin of bad results & upcomin Parents' Day won't be sucha a nice idea huh.. aikz.. Life's nt easy, It's tough but one will hav 2 keep on goin till da last breath..

2004-06-23T04:57:00.000+08:00

finaLLy i Seem2 get a reaLi nt bAD hanG of bLOggin & changIn moi BLogskins.. cooL.. oh well.. kinDa sLeepy finaLLy.. haha.. tMr gonna meet UP wit my oLd FweNs frm sec scH..hmm thkiN deY'll be goin 2 P.S or haNg aRd oRCHARD area most Probably.. been 3 yrs since we lASt mET.. niwae..won't be bloggin in mucH frm neXt WEEK onwarDS.. coZ it's Da tIMe of Da yEAR - Mid-YR EXAMINATIONS! cruciaL for mE 2 pASS FLyinGLy..hiakz..hiakz.. I lurVE moI nEw blog SKin.. gotta learn next how T0 inSErt a pic into it.. yea.. steP by sTep.. I'M RathER sLOW! ahakz..ahakz.. niwae, got scoldeD by moi dad coz my NIceY br0 toLd on me 4 usin da comp durinG laTE niTEz.. yEA, dAd ScoLD..but i PromiSEd him i'll paY my ShaRE of da biLL when it COmes.. hmm.. smaLL maTTEr..
sHaLL enD 2daE's entry wit thiS:

ThERe iT Was, aGainsT ThE DarkenEd pitCh BlacK SKy
LIke a Lumin0us spaRK of lIghT
IgnitIng a hugE orAngEy-ReD UpRoar 0f FlaMes
LIke a BReAth FRom A DRagoN's MoutH
GlowIng tHrougH the ReddiSH-BlaCK NiTe Sky
EnvisioninG iN mE a gL0winG DeSiraBle DrEAm
It sEEmEd t0 g0 on ForEvEr.. wHeN wIll It St0p?
TiLL ThAt visIOn oF DesiRE Is AChieVED? ...

2004-06-19T04:31:00.001+08:00

W0iAh.. found tis at fiddy diddy's blog page & tot i shd try it 0uT jusT 4 da fUn sakE of it.. hehhe.. turquoise!..hmmM.. nice colour.. issit smtH liKE bluish greeN.. or greyisH greeNish..wateva.. I'M a pathetic loser at definin colours..hahaha.. weLL it's 4.35AM & i sTILL can't slp.. wat da hecK.. haha..suddENLY i'm Thkin of eaTin ChocoLate ICE-CREAM!! Yipez.. hehe.. Life's soo crueL it's happeniN rite nw BUt soon it wun be happEnin no morE.. i suddenLY simplY LURVEEE.. da song "SOMEdAY" by NickelBack.. yea, lurve tt song, lurve da band.. haikz.. heartaches, break-ups.. relationships sux.. waT eLSE is sooo nOT nEW in LiFE? I've got TIS 2 SAE 2 aLL SUPERFICIAL EGOISTICAL CHAUVAUNISTIC IDOTS (idiots' rather 2 too crude word huh) in da world out dere - If u guys think tt l00Ks r wat tt mattERS m0st - uRE guys R such suckeRS or possibly jERKS (bunchA LosERS!) i wd sae.. GURLS out dere - fret nt if u dun hav sum guy whu lurves u for whu u ARE.. da time will come.. be patient..GuyS whu plaCED interest in da outSIDE & rather NT on da INSIDE - r simPLY nt worth ur tears, effort & time babes..simPLy hATE it wheN gUYS sAE "oh, looks doesnt matter" (BUT WAIT A MINUTE - take a look at their GF & u noe tt dey R definitely contradicting demselves - as often, da gfs tend 2 be slim & pretty) May dey get a gf rather whu judge dem jusT da waE dey do 2 gurls.. hahaha.. g0sH im soo mean huh 2dae.. hah! whu cares~

You are the color turquoise. A fairly tempermental
person, you're either upset or tranquil most of
the time. You can be as calm as your color.
You're a mysterious person, yet somehow
outgoing. You're balanced, simply put. You're
somewhat bold. You're generous and
sophisticated--but never ever snobby. You're
lively and rich in personality and attitude.
You're a beautiful person, aside from the fact
that you're a perfectionist and painfully
honest. But life is good to you!

What color are you? (Amazingly detailed & accurate--with pics!)
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-06-17T01:41:00.000+08:00

2dae mornin woke up relli early.. jus 2 go 4 my mornin run.. hahaha..thanks 2 my lil bro whu woke me up.. haha.. I'm nt a mornin person i can sae.. Well, i guess my performance at runnin has slacken tremendously.. ran abt 1.3km wit da timin of 7 mins.. aiyo.. ttz bad. tt means if for 2.4km.. i shd be finishin ard like wat? 15 mins??.. ttz bad.. i used 2 do ard 13-14 mins .. muz maintain sia & jog more regularly.. if i wanna see myself in da police force next time.. haha.. shd hav listen 2 all moi frens' advice earlier.. but it's nv 2 early 2 get started.. after my run, came hm awhile.. & prepared myself 2 go out again - went 2 da bank & oso did some marketing for my parents along wit my bro taggin along.. we had breakfast .. hehe.. den met up wit my dad b4 goin hm.. did sum revision just nw..but i guess ttz nt enuff.. got an SMS frm my teacher encouragin me 2 revise.. guess she was jus checkin up on my progress & kinda worried 4 me.. I'm soo blessed 2 have sucha caring teacher.. hehe.. hmmM.. guess ttz much for my blog entry 2dae.. gonna wake up early again tmr 4 my mornin run.. I'm determine 2 make it a habit of mine 2 do my mornin runs at least twice or thrice a week.. besides goin 4 aerobics & kickboxin.. hehe.. (which i went for last wk but didnt do much..regretted tt)..

2004-06-15T01:35:00.000+08:00

haha.. nv felt betta after doin sum kickboxin... boy i was feelin hot inside.. mad as i was.. wat else could i focus on but 2 kick & punch my wae thru an hr of rigourous kickboxin cum aerobics class.. at 1st ..was soo mad (dun0 y oso) tt i felt like sayin F#@*! but after da session.. haha.. felt like sayin... great .. hehe.. guess my mood swings frm one end 2 da other.. hmm.. i thk i'll hit da beach wanna of these days.. gotta get a nice tan like back like last time.. & possibly my toned abs & arms are turnin jello soon.. hahaha.. gotta get toned up again.. mayb play another game of extreme beachie volley huh.. nt bad idea. but my exams r comin up.. damn.. hehe.. gotta find da time..

2004-06-14T15:23:00.000+08:00

well nt been on net 4 a dae oni feel tt i'm missin my blog alot.. hahaha.. kiddin.. glad moi frens appreciate my new change tt i've done 2 moi blog.. but i'm still progressin yah sL0w & sTeadY.. hehe.. Well, weekends were quite hectic for me.. both daez i went out till late nite.. & my dad thinks I'm out wit my bf.. ouch! hehe.. Sat was out wit my cuzzie.. haha spent da whole dae out wit her.. jus roamin da streets.. went 2 eat at beach rd in da evenin aftr shoppin at tampines.. hehe.. den reach hm abt 11.. & ttz late accordin to moi dad.. come on I'm 19 oredi.. next yr I'll be 20.. I can take care of myself k..I'm independent duh.. On sundae.. Did abit of hsewrk b4 da fone rang & within an hr ..I Was OUttA my hse! hehe.. WEnt 2 Police Carnival.. shd hav brought abit more cash yah.. haha.. spent abt an hr dere .. met up wit Moiz.. aha.. he gave quite a detailed & rather comprehensive explanation abt pcg stuff.. cool~.. hehe was glad we met up aftr so long.. cam long lost frens.. i guess we still got more to tok actually.. but i had to go.. Went shopping aftr tt at Novena Square b4 headin down 2 Esplanade (coz Mamang, Apul, Awie, Khai Berg & his gf were all dere) includin tt stupid salid.. haha.. dere was a performance & my long lost fren ismahairie was performing.. didnt noe tt seh.. haha.. he looks cuter nw.. niwae.. couldnt hlp but detest being in da company of many "mats & minahs" but HecK.. i was dere 4 da performance nt anythg else.. aftr tt.. took a taxi hm & by abt 1030pm I was hm.. lucky.. tt oso my deaR daddy made soo much commotion thinkin I wasn't out wit ina but a guy instead.. oh please lah! hahaha.. & ina did hav weird guy taste on tt dae.. She kinda checked out da guys whu're "gurkhas".. hehe.. weird taste.. but yea.. i notice dey had nice eyes though.. grey or brown i thk? too abd dey can't spk english.. but nah.. I'm stickin 2 my options ina.. hehe..

2004-06-13T06:42:00.000+08:00

haHAHA.. after finally like wat 6 daMn looong houRs.. i finally got my BLog rite in da rite places tt i wan peepz 2 view it as.. So happy tt I finally got my own tag board so peepz can now WRite their commets wateva .. hehe.. AND most importantly iVE finally GOt to LINk moi frens 2 my BLog.. cOOL hehehe.. well.. i suddenly got tis surge of lovIN da colOrs - black & orange along wit light blue & light green wit yellow.. weird combination i wd sae.. hahaa.. well.. yaWnz.. i betta go get sUM slp..at least 2 hrs.. if nt I'll be daMn groucHY tmR.. somemore wanna go Police Carnival.. haiz.. dun Wanna end up lookin weary tired like sum PanDA Bear..haha..

2004-06-12T02:54:00.000+08:00

i'm so happy.. found back my former classmates & buddies 2dae.. somehow suddenly dere's a surge in da no of old frens gettin back in contact wit me.. soo happy im at a lost 4 wrds i tell ya.. well.. gtg nw.. busy chattin wit frens.. haiz.. life's soo good.. im sure our friendships' will last..

2004-06-11T01:02:00.000+08:00

haiz.. sori peepz if u guys notice, ive nt been bloggin in quite regularly.. ttz coz im kinda tired out frm revision thus at times .. no time 2 write in my tots, which r currently in hyper-active wild mode.. i cant figure myself wat im thkin abt actually oso.. hehe..well, promise 2 write in asap once i get back moi energy & inspiration (hahaha, yah rite!). . excuse me yah ~ i'll end my entry here 2dae wit this: (suddenly had da tot of sayin these to all da gurls out dere)

A note to all u GUrLS:
- Don't eva fall in lurve wit sum1 whuz more than 1000 miles away frm u. It usually doesnt wrk out.
- Just coz' someone of da opposite sex flirts wit u incessantly; doesnt mean he necessarily likes u but rather could mean dey jus wanna "hav fun" wit u (hello! get it rite? 1-nite stands??).
- Sometimes, very smart ppl can do realli (& i mean realli stupid) things in life.
- The one person u may truly lurve can possibly at times be juz rite infront of u.
- Never, EVER let a member of da opposite sex make u compromise ur standards.
- Nothing is ever too good & purfect to be true in this world.
- Everyone has their flaws, accept & nt reject them (be it physically, emotional or mental flaws).
- ALWAZ think carefully b4 u act.
- Instead of waiting for life 2 get betta, get up & do SMTH abt it.
- If he doesnt respect u 4 whu u R, then he's nt worth any of ur time.
- Learn 2 give & take.
- Learn 2 take risks, take up challenges. . dey may juz be wat u need rite nw.
- LEarn a nEW hoBBy, take up learnin 2 play an electric guitar; young ladies dig this.
- Never, ever trust ur fren wit a pair of scissors against ur hair 9nt even ur best fren).
- Hair is definitely flammable. Very flammable.
- U R whu U R, if peepz cant accept U 4 tt - be it; dey dun deserve bein called ur frenz in da 1st place.
-Finally, the heart does heal (it's true no kiddin) & somedae, U will lurve again (*fret nt*).

2004-06-07T16:18:00.000+08:00

another dae gonna pass by real quick.. haiz.. gotta realli put my bum down n settle down 2 revision for mgmt.. doin history currently n it sux.. wher hav all my memory wrk gone to?? seriously sucky..tmr gotta go back sch.. frm 8am-1pm at least im sure.. looking after moi pet bro now.. tt lil' lazy bum.. oni noe how 2 eat, slp.. fart.. hehehe.. everythg else i hav to do.. haiz.. life sux.. but nth's gonna change .. ain't it??

2004-06-05T01:35:00.000+08:00

haha.. can sae im bery much like selene..these days.. i prefer creepin back into my own shell.. yea, somewhat like a hermit.. im misunderstood at times.. im bein judged..though i hate tt, i cant stop ppl frm doin so.. so jus whatz da farkin hell prob wit society these daez?.. da other dae.. dere was tis gurl whu commented on me n my mole.. yea so what if i happen 2 hav a mole on my upper lip..at least, i dun bitch abt other gurls infront of their faces like she did.. ouch~! cindy crawford has 1 too, stacie orrico has 1 too, and so does mutya of da sugarbabes.. but hello.. these gurls are tough 2 face da world.. n heck abt their facial flawz..dey're successful, well-liked by others etc..etc.. nt every1 is born beautiful like wat? kristin kreuk? sarah michelle gellar? demi moore? oh please..i thank god tt i was born normal, tt mole on moi lippie?? i take it as a blessin..as my mom has i jus happen 2 hav a wae wit wrds (hehe, pissin ppl off more like it) and i tend to like n savour good foodie delicacies.. well, to hell wit those whu judge ppl by their 1st looks, figures height wateva.. U guys ARE just sHALLOW idiots!.. and i have 2 admit whu doesnt rite.. but nw.. im nt da stupid bitch (blondes r like tis) tt i used to be.. i dun judge ppl anymore.. its jus nt fair n nice..poor dem.. yea, i use 2 be 1 real dumb ass but nt anymore.. i've seen da light.

SELENE: You are selene!
Beautiful, vivacious,
fierce and seductive, Selene vowed she would
destroy Lycans after her family was murdered by
the werewolves. So ruthless is she that selene
is a member of the Death Dealers. This elite
Vampire warrior class's mission is to make the
Lycans extinct.
Ever wish you could be a
vampire?

Which UNDERWORLD character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-06-04T01:27:00.000+08:00

haha.. didnt noe i'm somewhat bery much aphrodite/eros..da goddess of love in ancient greece...hehe.. i guess muz be all da lurve i'm gettin from my dear frenz.. well.. took another "test" too but couldnt publish da results.. it was smth 2 do with moi nm - I-Intelligent, R-Rounded, N-Normal (i nt normal la..hehe), I-Ideal (oso nt one..), N-Normal, A-Adventurous.. kewl.. took somemore further tests but lazy 2 publish da results.. 1 test had da sayin i'm da perfect gf.. yah rite.. bullshit.. another test had da sayin i'm a pure angel.. yea rite.. no one's perfect..face it. hehe..

2004-06-04T01:22:00.000+08:00

-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.

What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-06-04T01:15:00.000+08:00

Aphrodite/Eros

?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla

2004-06-01T10:12:00.000+08:00

dAmN~!.. stoopid mR LEE.. my good-for-nothing useless one heck of a l0ser history Teacher! Wat da hell Is he trying to prove or do?? TT he controls us?? so wat? to heLL with his resource package lahZ~!.. ask us 2 come for extra lesson 2dae from 9-11am.. we came.. we all did.. god bless those poor souls whu took da trouble 2 wake up early in da morning (yep my frenz, i feel da same as u guys do).. and dragged themselves 2 school.. ONI 2 FREAKIN FIND OUT TT MR LEE IS ON MC!~!!!.. freakin wanna strangle him sia.. waste my damn time coming down to school.. think i got nothing betta to do issit.. think we all students got nothing else to do issit.. freak!N IDIOT!.. hope he's coughin reallli bad rite nw due to us all tokin, cursin him behind his back.. wat a SUPER USELESS TEACHER WE HAVE.. oh, i shd be sayin tis - "OH WOW! USELESS?? REALLI? U BETCHA!" wateva lahz.. gAwd, i pray for a saviour to come save us all from our doomed fate of failing source-based history question like we did for 2 whole f**kin years..

2004-05-31T11:50:00.000+08:00

here's one story tt got me touched deep in da heart sia..haiz
it's called "a change for a dollar".. and i would like to share tis with all moi peepz.. here is goes.. try to picture da scenario:

(short excerpt):
" All he wanted was some juice. As tables full of high school students sat in Cafeteria B2 on that cloudy afternoon, he was thirsty. We sat near yet far away from him, fixing our hair and worrying about the test next period we hadn't studied for. He was far away from our world, yet forced to be part of it. No one understood him at all.

He stood at the drink machine with a purpose, fumbling through his wallet for some change. He came up with a crinkled dollar bill, and nervously glanced back at his table where other students of his special needs class were sitting obediently. With the stumbling coordination of a six-year old, he tried very hard to make the machine accept his money. After a few unsuccessful attempts, the snickers and comments began. People were laughing at how silly he was. Some were even throwing things at him and calling him "retard". He began to quiver, and his eyes misted with tears, not knowing what to do. I saw him turn to sit down, defeated. But for some apparent reason, he decided against it. He wasn't leaving until he got a drink.

With a determined expression, he continued to aimlessly thrust the dollar bill in the machine slot. Then something terrific happened. A popular senior rose from her seat, and with a genuine look of compassion on her face, went over to the boy. She explained patiently how the machine had a hard time accepting dollar notes, then gave the boy some change and showed him where to place it. The boy looked at her, gave her his dollar note and chose a flavour of fruit juice. Then the two walked off in different directions.

Although it was clear that they were from two very different worlds but at that point in time, for a short moment - they both shared a real understanding. Wat do you think of this situation? When i read it, i was like "gosh, it's realli got me touched!".. i feel for the boy in this story.. and if there is such a gurl whu has done that brave deed.. i praise her courage to stand up and help the poor boy..

2004-05-29T22:12:00.000+08:00

wah.. muahahaha.. gp's gonna be a flop for me tis time.. wat da hell was da compre passage tokin abt sia.. hehe.. lahz.. bullshit je my wae thru.. but definitely got all da vocab wrds wrg.. yup, chck da dictionary oredi.. hehe.. la..la..la.. damn tired.. dunno y.. must be coz im still having my flu.. ArgH~~ must start revision oredi.. no time to waste.. i would like to end 2dae's entry wit this :

That feeling we get, after.
The beautiful kicks in.
Call it euphoria. Call it satifaction.
Call it endorphins?
Everything changes.
Your mood, your eyes, your skin, your mind, your feelings, your body, your attitude (can i add my hair as well??).
The way you stand, the way you sleep.
The whole wide world.
You change for the better every single time.
Shot from a cannon! Walking on the moon.
Sprung. Life-drunk.
You, the universe, the rest of humanity - it's all working for you.
How are you, after.
That is nikebeautiful.

(adapted from "after;nikebeautiful")

2004-05-27T19:36:00.000+08:00

2 more days to my GP mid yr paper.. nah.. dun thk i'm gonna do well tis time though CA2 was reallly gewd.. haha.. but den again.. i follow my moods yea.. hopefully i wake up on da rite side of da bed tmr and sat den my daez will gewd all da wae.. damn, gotta wake up at 5 tmr.. be at toa payoh stadium by 7.30.. my stupid hp *s0rT* out again.. nw totally no vibration, hate it when peepz call or msg.. no vibration wat..slack lahz.. time for a change of hp i guess.. been 1 yr oredi.. oh daddy!!" time to get me a new hp".. hahaha..jus kiddin.. im nt gonna be a daddy's gal.. tt SUX big time! im independent.. ye, gurl PowER~!

2004-05-26T15:29:00.001+08:00

stupid history teacher.. okie, i am so damn pissed off now tt i can literally kickbox whoeva whu comes near me.. damn! wat sort of teacher is he??? whu does nth, loses our essay scripts.. expects us to rewrite da essays again (for crying out loud, i havent got all dae u noe!)..in da 1st place: a teacher shd nt be misplacing impt stuff of da students whom have given him da trust of marking their essays and hoping to get those back.. wat else can he say ?? "oh, i think i have misplaced quite a few essays this term".. wat da!!!.. and heLL0!!! issit da students (our) business to take da trouble to write again da essays all over again!??~!?.. and he's got da cheek to even say hand in the next day.. whu u think u are.. ure da oni teacher in sch issit?? u think we dun have other assignments to do issit?? like wat, for 2 consecutive yrs teaching us still makes no difference.. all of us failed history.. if its oni 1 student , smth muz be wrg wit tt student.. but if its 1 whOLE COHORT failing history.. dEN SMTH MUZ BE WRG wit THE TEACHER!.. and sarcastic can he be.. to think he wrote stuff like "oh..WOW! REALLY?? " "NONSENSE!" in our test scripts shows tt he does NOT have (I REPEAT DOES NOT) a professional working attitude.. tt demoralises students to do well.. in fact, some have oredi given up hope on history.. all thanks to tt stupid MR LEE J.H.. instead of writing encouraging comments to motivate students to study like some other teachers did (and the method proved to work).. he gives sarcastic remarks instead.. wat sort of teacher is he? i guess he totally just doesnt have the slightest sense of compassion in him.. it's damn irritating..

2004-05-26T15:29:00.000+08:00

~FrUstRatED!~

Funny things that need to be said
Hang around at the back of my head

Beautiful scenes and wild cries
Live in the images behind my eyes

Frightening things
Terrors and fears
Shivers in voices
Between my ears

There they sit
Like a cloud of vapour
They just won't come out onto the paper

So frustrated yeah
That i sat and swear
At thoughts that passed
Beneath the air...

2004-05-25T23:30:00.000+08:00

cant wait for sports dae to come tis fri realli.. nt coz oni of da cheerleading thingie tt i wanna see.. but coz gonna slack out wit my long lost buddies siakz.. whu else.. da 15th scs arh.. damn, i miss "most" of dem.. nt all arh.. hehe..tis is straight frm my heart ah.. well2.. kinda pressured by parents wat else is new.. to perform well for da upcoming mid yrs.. mid yr u noe.. and its nt yet A levs.. feelin da pressure.. to those whu still haven felt da stress & pressure.. gd luck la!.. u guys dunno watcha doin to urselves.. haha.. damn, i'm doing a personal attack.. must be my inner evil self ni..haha. split personality.. well, i think its time 2 be mean.. yea, gif no hoot about stuff ard me nw.. less den 6 more mths and i'm outta tt stupid environment.. gawd.. life has been living hell since yr 2.. yr 1 was sweet.. i guess too sweet tt yr 2 ended up god proving to me tt life's nt alwaz a straight nice smooth path for u to walk on.. wake up morons out dere, dere's more den meet da eye.. expect a rocky road (sounds like a marshy-mallow nm).. to those whu have been havin a rather smoothflowing life journey.. expect da unexpected..
even da bez will be da fallen one fine dae.. tis i have gone thru and it proved too bittersweet to remember.. wateva.. haha.. dey 4got.. to offend a gal is da worst.. we gals are good at remembering stuff man.. even if it's like wat?? 10 yrs ago?? i betcha i still will remember.. every single detail to da core.. etched in memory 4eva.. i feel like sayin tis 2 some.. B***H! shd be easy for some" to figure it out rite unless ure a damn BIG useless moron.. gal, u betta watch ur back!ur life wun be as good as it is rite nw.. i may nt do anythg nw..doesnt mean ill keep quiet abt it.. u called me nms, i got a more professional wae deh.. at handling stuff.. unlike u.. childish immature brat.. sucker for guys!..

2004-05-23T01:37:00.000+08:00

oh my gawd, i jus realise my blogger is kinda like in a pinkish hue.. why da hell did i chose tis color niwae.. WAOH!.. wat an exciting week i've had realli.. nv been tis buzy b4 siakz.. and im glad i kept myself bz.. hehe.. well, on fri, went 2 tis sec sch at sengkang - compassvale to promote da sch.. got nth betta to do though.. wish i was playing for da captain ball's competition held in sch tt time.. nv mind though.. got 2 eat out wit hadaa and ah lun.. hehe. 3 pigs.. we ate laksa and halal takoyaki at compassvale shoppin cntre (if nt for lack of money, we would have eaten more).. da banquet foodcourt da food dere all halal..kewl! den went hm at abt 6, was drag out by my parents again.. went to woodlands causeway dere go jalan2.. eat again (haiz, i thk i ate alot siakz) - da fried carrot cake was delicious siakz.. ate laksa again (my fav! hehe) and fried rice.. hehe.. plus epok2 and jemput2 pisang.. alot huh.. well, den on sat.. one kewl happening dae i had wit all my buddies siakz.. i actually sign up for da 3-hr marathon aerobics challenge consistin of hi-lo aerobics, hip hop & kickboxin (damn kewl!).. hehe, endurance is da key.. it's all in da mind..i felt great after da whole thing.. got my goodie bag & was off to eat out wit my buddies ina & suhara (su won a hamper!..hehe happy for her tt "makcik" as i alwaz called her..) we went to adik lin's place at beach road.. and we pig out as usual - i ordered mee hoon goreng & drank like a water tank.. ina ordered kebab ala j-lo.. (wat crap hehehe nama nak stylo).. suhara ordered roti john (1st time, i see roti john wit thousand island sauce) and we ordered french fries as well as satay.. my gawd.. piggers are we (i wonder how come we still nt fat - 0H! yea.. we often wrkout pe..) hehe.. can all we wan n nv grow tt much in SIZE.. hehe.. after tt.. chit chat chit chat.. sampai pukul 9.45 like tt.. ina gotta go hm. curfew at 10.. so we took a taxi home.. hehe.. had a great dae.. tml's da big walk.. too bad i nt going but doin hsewrk instead at hm.. nvm..hsewrk oso is a wrkout.. hehe.. ish! since when ni i soo enthu into wrkin out & fitness.. haha.. hmm.. next wk fri got SC makan gathering.. wanna finish up our balance of funds.. wah cant wait to PIG out again.. damn, my cuz's jealous tt i dun fat & she does if she eats jus a tiny wheeny bit.. heehe.. well.. wat can sae.. i lURve FOOD (self-confessed FOODIE nw) wit cravings often for cheese fries, kfc, desserts like ice kachang, sushi etc.. haizz..

2004-05-19T21:51:00.000+08:00

wat a gre8t daE i've had so far.. Okie well i'm still bery SIck.. but hEY!.. ppl sae my voice "kinda GerEk".. hahaha sexy la tu.. eUGH! niwae, went 2 BMTC 2dae.. WAoH cam kewl giler.. nt Many cute guys.. ahaha.. but heCk Whu carez.. i see da FOOD oni.. yep.. as usual gals.. u noe.. go wild.. da Gals in my bus kinda got smitten wit tis chi guy.. i thk he's a 2nd LT.. nm... oni noe its chee wai.. wateva.. den.. i spottED tis cuTE (ok, nt tt cute ah) guy servin dessert.. nm.. firwan.. ttz all.. hahaha.. nth much abt tt plaCE basically.. but i guess our sch guys all like prepared 2 go in dere oredi.. hhaaha..ttz all for nw.. yikKES.. tmr PE siakz.. haiz..

2004-05-17T21:55:00.000+08:00

todae.. as of saturdae..i've been pretty much siCk lately and it sux..haiz.. nose pretty much blocked.. havin a fever at 38.0 deg celsius.. as measured.. takin da stupid medication makes me wanna puke.. so sucky.. eugH!.. Gawd.. wish i was okie.. see la.. too much SofT dRinks & KFC etc.. hehe.. well, lookin at my scheule tis week.. i guess i'm gonna be reall! Buzy.. Tmr gotta help out wit da SPorts heats.. excused frm class at 130pm.. On WEd, excused frm class at 12noon.. coz goin on learning Journey to BMTC.. pulau tekong.. On Thursday & FRiday.. m0st probably involved in da cheerleading thingie.. gosh den on SAturday... can't wait for tis - Women's DAy OUT.. gonna hav lotsa fUn i guess doin aerobics, HIp h0p dancin & KickboxIn.. hehe.. Sundae.. dunn0 whether goin for da Semi-Muzikal of MCS.. haven bought da ticket though.. hehe.. well.. with a packed schedule like tat.. i cant afford 2 prolong my sickness.. ttz y doctor wanna gif me 2 days MC.. i ask for 1 dae oni... hehe.. cant sit still for long.. i muz alwaz be on da GO.. if nt, i think i'll get siCK more!.. ttz all for nw..

2004-05-10T13:49:00.000+08:00

2dae sch ends for me at 430pm..shoot.. kinda feelin tired after PE - haha..watz new..conditionin n den play hockey 4 2 periods.. well.. tmr is my sistaz hockey match at ccab.. gonna support dem .. tis will be my 2nd time watchin a hockey match realli into it i guess.. psycho-ed by my sistaz.. hehe.. well.. im da oni non-sports fellow in da clique.. wat 2 do, muz balance.. cannot all sports ppl.. hehe.. niwae cant get 2 go for da guys' match against TPJC tis thurs coz i'm havin lessons till 515pm seh.. stupid timetable.. cant wait realli for tis sat impending Institute DAe.. well, a chance 2 be out of my hse.. hehe.. thkin of catchin a flick realli.. been long since i caught one. told my elder sis oredi n she's havin tots abt catchin a flick, yea since after tmr.. she'll be kinda free.. can booked her for "dates" hehe.. well.. i guess im fallin asleep in front of da comp as i type.. gosh and it's oni like wat? comin to 2pm.. sux la..

2004-05-07T12:58:00.000+08:00

2dae.. short dae.. makin me happy a little.. after tis, gonna go out wit my fren go eat lunch.. boring ya i thk so.. but wat 2 do.. no life zZZ..niwae.. kinda missin sum1 rite nw.. alwaz on my mind it seems.. but wat reali went wrg.. damn.. i feelin so pissed off.. but haha.. i shall nt let it get 2 my emotions too much..if it meant 2 be, it will be no matter wat da results are.. so complicated life i have.. tt sux.. but at da same time kinda fun ..adventurous 2 experience ups n downs.. hehe.. life's a h.c.t.i.b haha.. felt like watchin a movie yet nah on 2nd tots.. no one 2 ajak out oso.. my frenz all either havin A divs.. or rather spent their time wit their other halves.. haiz.. i guess i'll go for nw.. hungry oredi..

2004-05-06T15:07:00.000+08:00

2dae as usual .. is a loong dae 4 me.. tt sux.. niwae. i'm havin 3 free periods now seh.. nth betta 2 do.. CA2 jus over so can relak abit la.. hehe.. dunno i attend sch 4 wat when most of da teachers themselves often nt in sch oso.. haha.. so many free periods haiz.. life's been pretty up n oso down 4 me.. haiz.. met a long lost fren - communication was well all along.. but recently been in sum "miscommunication" i thk.. duno wat reali happen.. shoot~.. i guess shit happens huh. guess we kinda drifted apart again, so mayb tt fren's gonna be either M.I.Aing soon or jus go "lost" once again.. wat da heck (ooh, my language these days so good it seems.. i guess thx 2 my kakak - ina ah, for enlightenin me more on such wrds 2 use when da time is rite) hehe.. can't concentrate well these days.. dunno y.. The CA2 i guess gonna flop again or mayb jus mayb pass wit "flyin colours" haha.. shd hav studied harder n earlier 4 MOB but didnt, shd hav prepared 4 history but didnt.. normally i fail GP but tis time i pass so i expect da opposite 4 all my other subjects.. i guess wat is said abt me is true 2 a large extent (hehe like history source-based) - i AM a person (a TAUREAN to be precise) whu reali treasures friendship aLOT! n if a fren "brks up" da the frenship we had.. i thk im da emotional one lak.. ttz bad seh! yea, it's true i feel a strong bond 2 frenships n such.. reali treasure my buddies alot since i've crossed paths wit dem somehow.. haiz.. life's funny dunny.. wateva.. i wunder watz "dia" doin skrg... Sensitive, numbskull, adamant goondoo seh.. inother words - S.N.A.G hahaha

2004-04-30T14:32:00.000+08:00

2dae is a quite a short dae for me.. jus had my mentorin period wit my mly teacher cikgu marnee.. honestly reali, i cant believe she felt sad n cried for me when i told her seriously wat r da probs i was facing back then n now still.. i myself i guess i'm immune to it oredi though relatin back wat took place last yr n quite recently kinda made me felt like breakin down into tears oso.. but i noe i'm stronger now.. unlike b4.. all tt has happen thru'out my life has change me alot i would sae.. probs i guess, everyone will face dem but how serious tt depends on da individual - frm family, relationships, friendships, studies.. financial oso.. etc. thinkin back, i do think i've been reali patient n tolerant of my dad's verbal abuses, crude sarcastic remarks.. friends' backstabbin, classmates' wrath of dislike etc.. it is so unlike me when last time - i would hav jus burst out in anger or slump straight into a serious mode of depression.. there was actually a time when da thought of suicide did cross my mind.. but luckily, though i tried i survived n i think back - it was silly. i noe life's nv easy even everyone says so but i guess i jus hav to tolerate it for a few more yrs n yah like wat my dad said - i could get out of da hse if i wan when i hav a stable career etc. it's mean n hurtful of him 2 actually sae tt.. but wat to do.. in fact, he's been like repeatin it over n over again for 4 consecutive yrs oredi.. i'm oredi startin 2 jus get things done in life n wateva is bein said by him - i decide 2 take the "in out da ears" approach.. my sistaz understan me.. da late nitez when i called dem up - sobbin n cryin quietly, all alone in my rm.. all dey could do was 2 listen on the other line.. but i was glad i could count on dem - god noez wat would hav happen during those nitez.. n till now, i still noe tt wateva it is.. ina n lin will jus b a fonecall away even if we're apart in distance.. i'm grateful oso 2 hav supportive teachers like ms tee n cikgu marnee.. truly blessed to hav met such nice carin ppl in my life journey.. i guess crossin paths wit these ppl hav nt oni change my life in a betta wae but oso made me open up my eyes n see da big picture.. ok, if ure readin my blog.. u would think i'm writin crap.. oni ppl whu're truly close to me will understan wat i'm actually "whining" about.. hehe.. WELL.. those are jus memories now.. tis yr i did sae to myself i wanna start afresh n so i will do so.. block out all negative vibes wat so eva.. n concentrate on da As..

2004-04-26T13:59:00.000+08:00

i noe i may nt b a regular blogger like my other frenz but hey! i'm doin my best 2 update my blog everytime tau.. hehe.. niwae, my 19th bdae (22nd APRil) jus passed.. n it was kinda "great" lahz.. went 2 hav a seafood dinner wit my family, den i'm glad lahz.. my 2 sistaz n my other frenz remembered my bdae.. hehe.. it's da tot tt counts, nt da prezzies man.. niwae, i jus wish for gd health n gd results.. hehe.. been in pretty bad shape lately see lahz nv exercise hehe.. gosh, seriously tis blogging thingie is addictive i could sae??.. next wk, me havin my CA2 exam.. guess gotta realli study hard or else i can sae bye2 2 my As if i dun start revisin nw.. hehe.. easy 2 sae, harder 2 get down 2 serious wrk.. realli i feel like 19 is like WoAh! got more responsibility i guess? 2 more yrs n i'll be an adult (legally tt is) sumtimes realli i cant help thinkin abt ppl ard me.. my classmates.. seein dem makes me think.. aren't dey afraid of failin? dey seem 2 take things in life soo "kewl", in sucha a playful carefree manner.. dey nt worried ah.. haiz.. so childish.. well.. i guess ttz all for nw..

2004-04-19T16:52:00.000+08:00

well..todae or shd i sae tonite happens to be da 1st time i started my very own blog.. so happy n excited. actually i wasn't into sucha thing but i guess i was influenced by frenz like fandi, johan, moiz n yep, recently my godbro yuhan.. it can be a joy at times i realised - on what one has to write in his/her blog but at times too, dere can be sad, painful moments.. all that i've read in my frenz' blogs.. i'm surprised at me gettin caught up in this "trend" but i'm positively sure i will hav a good time writing my blog.. i hav so much to write about in life reali dunno wher to start.. i guess i shall start writing about this coming thursdae.. it's sucha special dae to me i guess?.. my 19th bdae..to speak da truth, i'm harbourin mixed feelings about being 19 this yr actually.. i'm happy that i'm turning a yr older - guess i'll be a yr wiser n more mature.. but at the same time, i'm gettin older n 19 reminds me of me havin to sit for my A levs this yr.. i've realised that time passes soo fast.. n over da past yr, i'm nt sure issit coz of my stint as a student councillor or what but i've definitely grown up in my thinking.. suddenly i realised that after this yr, i may still continue studyin or may hav to start wrkin.. i realised that i'm nt young anymore, nt 16 or 17 but 19.. 2 yrs more n i'll legally be an adult oredi.. quite scary at how i think sum times..but it's even scarier when i found out how sum of my close frenz think hehe.. frankly speaking, i'm quite surprised at how sum of my classmates still hav the time to slack n fool around when it's jus 6 more mths to da A levs. i dunno y i think this wae, mayb coz it's 1.42am in da morning n i may nt be thinkin rite hehe.. but as my bdae approaches nearer.. i think i'll make a new resolution - "to stop slackin n get down to serious work, n i mean serious studyin n revisin".. sorry my frenz, after next wk (i wanna njoy my bdae wk definitely) - i'm gonna study n revise religiously n daily.. in fact, i think i'm a lil' late.. my 2 sistaz - as n ina definitely hav started revision n serious studyin..but i'll catch up.. i'm seriously startin 2 feel da pressure.. well.. i guess ttz all for now.. dun wanna wake up feelin tired tml esp when 1st 2 periods is PE..

2004-04-19T14:15:00.000+08:00

2dae is such a boring dae.. got my stupid project work results.. wat a joke.. for all da work we've done.. i got a band 3.. well, ok lahz at least it's nt a fail..band 4 ttz is.. now in comp lab.. feeling hungry siakz.. i guess i'll end here for now..